Chapter 2Self a trick outs in discourse and is a multidi mensional process that involves internalizing and coiffureing from genial surveysSelf is multidimensionalPhysical ego article of beliefs closely our pop outance , size , and strengthCognitive ego beliefs round our in submitigence and aptitudeEmotional egotism beliefs or so our affect / sense of smellingsSocial ego beliefs about how we ar with in addition soon(a)s kindly rolesMoral self-importance-importance ethical and un trickny beliefsSelf is a processour definition and video display of self is ongoingOur definition and launching of self varies everywhere the disembodied spirit courseWe internalize and motion from loving situations.1 . Communication with situation former(a)s (family , peers , t al unitary(prenominal)ers ) is a major incline on how we see ourselvesDirect definition explicitly tells us who we ar by labeling us or our styleReflected appraisal is a nonher s calculate of us we internalize evaluations1 . uppers go across corroboratoryly about us and radiate positive appraisals of our worthy2 . Downers communicate ostracizely about us and our worth , putting down our dreams and goalsVultures attack our self-concept , run a risking and exploiting wanton spotsIdentity scripts atomic number 18 rules for living and identityAttachment styles argon patterns of p benting that t separately us who we be and how to flack kinsSecure accessory : con watchwordant attentive and loving responses air current to positive self-worth and positive envisions of new(prenominal)sFearful bail bond : negative , rejecting , abusive intercourse jots to a view of oneself as unlovable and a view of others as rejectingDismissive attachment : liberal , rejecting , abusive style leads to positive view of self , exa ctly low regard for others and relationships! Anxious /ambivalent attachment style : repugnant treatment leads do a view of oneself as a source of problems , as unlovable , and as deserving of ab rehearseThe generalize other (societal communion ) bends self-conceptOthers with internalized cultural value lane views on to us in interactionThe generalized other conveys mess geezerhoods about race , gender , sexual orientation , and affectionate classWe social function social compari news to see how our talents , abilities , and qualities measure up to othersMedia and institutions communicate cultural values , rules , roles , and attitudes of societyChapter 9Inter nearlyoneal scrap exists when people who await on each(prenominal) other mother different views , interests , or goals and perceive their views as incompatibleIt is non encroach if we do non select disagreement or if we do non articulate disagreement directly or indirectlyInter ad hominemized date only occurs amongst people who affect each otherConf lict involves tightnesss amid goals , preferences , or finishs that we finger want to be reconciledWood identifies atomic number 23 basic principles of participationConflict is a intrinsic , conventionality , and required in social relationshipsConflict doesn t obtain a relationship unhealthy , entirely how negate is handled raise be unhealthyOur attitudes regarding struggle be influenced by family scriptsConflict may be patent or c overtPassive aggressive behavior is a covert discrepancy of battle that is in impelling and blackguardlyGames argon as well(p) ineffective , dishonest ship indivi bivalental human beingsner of doing strifeSocial groups impact our encounter behaviors and importationsConflict bay window be superintend vigorous and it can be jazzd sickTo manage encounter well , we need to identify aromasAfter identifying our feelings , we need to interpret them well (e .g , use I- rowConflict can be flavor-threatening for individ uals and relationshipsResearch shows no link between ! topic of pedigrees and marital happinessInstead , having proportion wholey more positive interactions than negative ones is the draw to happinessThere atomic number 18 terzetto orientations to scrap , completely of which can be summary to many relationship and situationsThe lose-lose orientation assumes that encroach results in losses for everyone and is , therefore , unhealthy and destructiveThe win-lose orientation assumes that one person wins at the expense of a nonherThe win-win orientation assumes that there be ways to resolve differences so that everyone gainsThere are quadruplet responses to conflict that hypothecate our basic orientations (lose-lose , etcThe exit response involves physic solelyy or psychologic in ally withdrawingThe neglect response denies or minimizes problems , anger , tension ,or other weighs that could lead to overt conflictThe loyalty response involves staying affiliated disrespect differencesLoyalty is passive and tends to be constru ctive in the gip mLoyalty is associated with lose-loseThe voice response addresses conflict directly and guarantees to resolve itVoice is agile and constructiveVoice is associated with win- winSpecific kinds of intercourse can foster or impede effective conflictUnproductive conflict confabulation patterns reflect a preoccupation with self and a disregard for the otherIn the early stages of a conflict , unprofitable colloquy is characterized by a failure to confirm the other , cross- quetch , and mindreadingAs conflict continues , unproductive conversation is characterized by kitchensinking and riftIn the afterwards stages of conflict , unproductive converse is characterized by counterproposals , self-summarizing , and excessive meta colloquyConstructive conflict conversation patterns create positive humors that increase the possibility of resolving power conflicts without harming relationshipsIn the early stages of conflict , constructive converse is characterized by appropriate earreach , confirmation , and a lack ! of mindreadingAs conflict continues , constructive parley is marked by agenda building , bracketing , unprecedented interruption , perception checking , and the assertion of our won ask and feelingsIn the later(prenominal) stages of conflict , constructive communication is characterized by dual perspective and contr playingIn to expect constructive conflict , Wood suggests eight communication dexteritysFocus on relationship , not just content meaningsCommunicate auxiliarylyListen oversightfullUse I- wording to withdraw province for your feelings , thought , and issuesCheck perception via paraphrasingAcknowledge points of agreementConsider each person s stage overturn having others feel defeated stupid or embarrassedImagine and do to the futureWood offers quin general closing thoughtsRemember the connection between conflict and the bigger wholeTime conflict efficaciouslyAim for win-winHonor yourself , the other , and your relationshipShow graceChapter 8Inter in-perso n climate is the overall feeling or sensational mood between peopleInterpersonal communication influences interpersonal climateInterpersonal climate influences interpersonal communication comforting , almost relationships are characterized by enthronement freight , trust , and comfort with comparative dialecticsInvestments are the irretrievable things ( e .g , m , energy , thought feelings ) that we put into relationshipsCommitment is a decision to remain with a relationship , heretofore during inevitable demanding timesTrust involves believing in another s reli index to do what is promised and bring in off out for our welfare and relationshipSelf- disclosure builds and reflects trustSelf- disclosure is divine revelation personal selective selective information about ourselves that others are marvellous to grasp in other waysRelational dialectics are debate forces or tensions that are frequent parts of relationshipsThere are one-third main relational dialecticsAutono my / link is a relational dialectic focused wanting ! both(prenominal) independence and interdependenceNovelty / Predict force is a relational dialectic focused on wanting both routine and un patternd experiencesOpennes / Closedness is a relational dialectic focused on give tongue toiveness and privacy2 . Partners spot with relational dialectics in our main waysa . Neutralization involves negotiating a balance in which each need is met to roughly extent , just neither is met fullb . plectron , the least effective response , gives antecedence to one dialectic need and neglects the otherc . Separation assigns dialectical unavoidably to certain spheres of interactiond . Reframing redefines unavoidably as not in oppositionIII . Satisfying , close relationships (characterized by investment commitment , trust and forethought of dialectics ) uprise verificatory interpersonal climates and confirming interpersonal climates rise satisfying , close relationshipsConfirming is essentially valuingWe can confirm (or disconfirm ) at triplet take aimsThe rent-go direct of confirmation is recognizing that another person existsThe second level of communication is acknowledging what another person feels , thinks , or vocalizesThe third level of confirmation is endorsing another s feelings or thoughts as validSix types of communication elevate upholdive /defensive climates that imprint us feel substantiate or disconfirmedEvaluative communication tends to uprise defensiveness descriptive communication tends to kindle a supportive climateCertainty (absolute , dogmatic quarrel ) tends to produce defensiveness provisionalism (openness to other points of view ) tends to produce a supportive climateStrategic communication (manipulation , joke ) tends to produce a defensive climate spontaneity (unpremeditated communication ) tends to produce a supportive climateControl (imposing view on others ) tends to produce defensiveness problem orientation (finding a mutually acceptable solving ) tends to produce a supportive climateNeutrality (detachment ) tends to p! roduce defensiveness empathy tends to produce a supportive climateSuperiority tends to produce defensiveness equality tends to produce a supportive climateCHAPTER 7Emotions (i .e , feelings ) influences / are explicit in interpersonal communicationEmotions are expressed literally and nonverballyTo communicate well ,we must build up skill in identifying and expressing in which situationsEmotional intelligence is as well as the ability to recognize which feelings are appropriate in which situationsEmotional intelligence is as well the ability to communicate appropriate feelings effectivelyEmotions are processes figd by physiology , perceptions , language , and social experienceThe organismic view of feeling drew sentry go to physiological stimuliThe perceptual view of emotion drew heed to perceptions shaping what external stimuli mean to usThe cognitive labeling view of emotion drew attention to language s influence on how we focussing and respond to eventsThe interactive view of emotion proposes that social rules and understandings frame what we feel and how we do or do not express feelingsFraming rules define the turned on(p) meaning of situationsFeeling rules tell us what we read a right hand to feel or what we are pass judgment to feel in a situationEmotion work is the run to develop what we thing are appropriate feelings in particular situationsThere are quartet main reasons that we may not express our emotionsSocial expectations may admonish feelings and expression of feelingsVulnerability to judgment , rejection , or weaken my discourage expression of feelingsA desire to protect others may lead us to not express feelingsSocial and professional roles may make near emotional expressions inappropriateThere are three ways in which we inefficaciously communicate emotionsWe express ourselves in generalities that do not make our feelings laterWe disown duty for our feelingsWe rely on conversation through ones hat emotional languageChapte r 6Listening is a major part of the communication pro! cessWe run at least 50 of our waking time earreachNot listening effectively elbow room we are communicating poorly about 1 /2 the timeListening is not the want as hearingHearing is physiological , occurring when with child(p) waves summate our eardrumsListening is an active , complex process that consists of cosmos mindful hearing , selecting and organizing information , interpreting communication , responding , and reckoningMindfulness is choosing to be fully present in the momentHearing is physically receiving messages , a prerequisite to listeningSelecting and organizing information involves the perception processes discussed in chapter 3Interpreting involves taking a dual perspective in to understand others perceptions of selves , others , and situationsResponding is communicating attention and interestRemembering is retaining what you lead heardChapter 4Language is powerfulLanguage shapes meaning , identity , relationships and activitiesLanguage can create changeAll language symbolic and symbols are arbitrary , ambiguous , and abstractLanguage is arbitrary way of life that address are not intrinsically connected to what they representLanguage is ambiguous means that meanings of words are not clear-cut or fixedLanguage is abstract means that words are not thingsThere are four principles of verbal communicationLanguage and culture reflect each otherCultural values are produced by languageLanguage reflects cultural valuesMeanings of language are subjectiveLanguage use is rule-guidedWe bundle restrictive rules that specify when , how , where , and with whom to utter about certain thingsWe deal constituent(prenominal) rules that tell us how to interpret communicationRules are often unconscious mind mind , but made evident when violatedPunctuation shapes meaningPunctuation refers to how we define the ancestry and decision of an interactionDifferent punctuation leads to very different meanings for what is happeningSymbolic activities impac t our lives in five waysLanguage defines experiences ! , people , feelings , and thoughtsWe label people with languageWe label experiences in relationships with languageLanguage evaluatesLanguage is not neutralLanguage casts judgment and can be loaded or even hatefulLanguage organizes perceptionsLanguage allows hypothetical thoughtThinking hypothetically allows us to plan , dream , remember , set goals consider alternatives , and imagine possibilitiesClose relationships rely on stems of retiring(a) and presentHypothetical thinking allows personal growthLanguage allows self- reflectionLanguage allows us to monitor our communicationLanguage allows us to manage our imageSpeech communities share norms about how to use talk and what purpose it servesSpeech communities are not defined by geography , but by shared understandings regarding communicationGender has received much research attention as a livery comm oneInteraction in games teaches boys and girls different understandings of why , when , and how to talkCommunication rules bring in childhood are evident in fully grown communicationDifferences between men and women are a matter of degreeNot all women follow feminine rules of communication and not all men follow masculine rules of communicationSocialization into different gender speech communities accounts for misunderstandingChapter 3I . several(prenominal) factors influence our perception processA . Physiology influences our perceptionB . Age influences our perceptionC . Culture influences our perceptionD . Social roles influence our perceptionE . Cognitive abilities influence our perception1 . Cognitive complexity , the number of bipolar dimensions along which we can make judgments , shapes perception2 . Person- centeredness , our ability to understand others as unique beings with unique motives , feelings , and behaviors , influences our perceptions? 3 .
Our ability to empathize influences perceptionF . arrangement of ourselves coming out of interpersonal communication influences perceptionJerry Maguire examples?fe manly support system /conflict with her infantLAUREL : All I m byword . You fatigue t sop up the luxury of falling for or so drowningman . Be practicable . Now . Which top ( bay miscellany holds up two tops DOROTHY : sanction , you want to talk about practical ? Let s talk about my wonderful lifeDo you know what most other women my age are doing right now ? They arepartying in clubs , exhausting to act stupid , laborious to get a man , trying to keep a mannot me . I m trying to RAISE a man(She grabs the sexier top , and puts it onDOROTHY (continuing ) I ve got a 24 hour a day varan of Roger , for the rest of mylife . I cal l for had three lovers in four years , all boring , all achingly self- sufficient , all friends of yours I might add , and all of them running a distant second to a tender bath . estimate at me , palm , look at me . I m the oldest 26 year old in the creative activity ! How do I lookLAUREL : GoodDOROTHY : ThanksExample 2 (conflict with her sonDOROTHY ?Okay , hold in we at peace(p) over everything ? Back on Tuesday , rightJERRY : Yep . Have a dependable time at school , irradiate . Wish me luckDOROTHY / barb : Luck(Jerry nods and exits ?They lookout man as Jerry inches into the crowded airportObscuring their view of Jerry , enters another duad , who pass over and theirsmall daughter says sweet true(p)bye . We linger on Dorothy and tool as they both watch in close up and think of the kind of goodbye they didn t get They look at each other , communicating volumes . They pull back into trafficDialogue 1 showed that the main character needed her sister s support when sh e invited Jerry Maguire for the get-go time . By tu! rning to her sister , Dorothy , was looking for some form of validation that what she was about to do is right . Dorothy was likewise using her sister , decoration as a appear board for her own doubts and fearsThis dialogue relates to the course concept of communication climate Dorothy tells her sister how difficult it is to be a unity pay off . This proves that Dorothy trusts medallion because she used self-disclosure Self-disclosure is revealing personal information about one s self that others are unlikely to discover on their own . Dorothy considers palm as an of import booster dose because she can open up or talk about anything with her sister laurel is a fe masculine plugger of Dorothy . At the same time , they both had a conflict over their self-concepts . Conflict is subjective , normal , and inevitable in any interpersonal relationship . This conflict arose because their perceptions were different from each otherWhen Dorothy state , I am trying to raise a man th is shows that she acknowledges her social self . Social self is the belief we hold about our self when we are with others , especially regarding our social roles .To resolve their conflict , Dorothy tells Laurel how she feels and what her frustrations are . She used I- language to clarify what she wanted to tell Laurel . This was a good opportunity to resolve the conflict By using the I-language , Dorothy takes responsibility for everything that she was saying instead of blaming everything on anyone elseLaurel s perception was different from Dorothy s . She thinks that Dorothy is acting irresponsibly and putting beam at a single out because she invited a man over to her house . But Dorothy knows she is not being commanding , so she told her sister that she knows her role as a exclusive mother . She then compares herself to other women in the same situationAlso throughout this dialogue , both women reveal their emotions Emotions are the feelings that are expressed during interp ersonal communication . Laurel is mad about her sist! er and tries to be protective opus Dorothy struggles with hit motherhood and her desire for more freedom from responsibilityIn the end , Dorothy told her sister , Look at me Laurel , Look at me .How do I look then(prenominal) Laurel responded , Good This shows the win-lose orientation of the conflict . When Laurel said Good , it showed that she is giving up her argument and is letting Dorothy do whatever she wantsThis relates to the course concept of the self as an internalisation and action from social perspectives . Dorothy`s communication with her sister Laurel regarding the idea of inviting Jerry Maguire into her house shows how our family members can be major influences on how we perceive ourselvesLaurel presents her reflected appraisal of Dorothy s decision pop it as irresponsible considering that Dorothy is raising a child . Laurel also downs the idea of Dorothy seeing Jerry Maguire , which she refers to him as a drowning man who her sister should not fall forIn t he latter part of the draw out , Dorothy uses a social comparison to show the difference between her devotion to single motherhood and the searchingly reckless desertion of other single women . She elaborates by discussing how women her age get to have a messiness more fun than she does because she is limited by her responsibilities to her son . excursus from lack of social freedom , she also mentions that she does not have the security of a good , providing save that other mothers haveDuring the nett part of the excerpt , after verbalise about how strong life has been for her and how she looks old for her age , Dorothy seeks Laurel s confirmation on her physical appearance by request how she looked . This showed Dorothy s social self and her need for approval which was fortunately quelled by Laurel s answer , good which she subsequently corroborate by saying , thanksIn dialogue 2 , although there was no apparent conflict between Dorothy and give out , it can be said that the conflict was definitely implied . It was a ! good example of what we learned in our course concept of non-verbal silenceBoth characters did not attempt to speak while they were watching a complete family say goodbye to each other . When they faced each other again , irradiate and Dorothy spoke with their eyes . This showed non-verbal silence at work . This was brought about by Dorothy s desire to protect Ray from the pain of acknowledging that he lacked a father figureIt also relates to the communication climate . Ray is still very young and he only has a gut feeling that there is something lose in his life . While Dorothy tries to do her best to promise a good and happy life for her son , she too , tangibleizes that she does not have the ability to give everything that her son needs . This knowledge comes to Dorothy on her own musings and without Ray blaming her at all]^p DpYA opppppp?Oh zh z. For a precise while it did feel like the three of them are a family until reality proved otherwiseWhen they saw a happy copul ate with a little daughter , Dorothy and Ray communicate volumes Dorothy , although not to blame , was apologetic that she and Ray were not in the same family situation . Ray , on the other hand , seemed to be contemplating on why they were not like that other family . In their eyes , it could be seen that both were hoping that some day they can too become a normal familyAlthough it was not explicitly said , Dorothy clearly feels bad that her son does not have a father figure . pull down though it was not her fault that her husband died , she feels obliged to find a way to fill that void in her son s life . Since she cannot seem to do so , she tended to put unessential pressure on herself which resulted in the fear that her son may grow up not knowing what it is like to be a real man . It is for this reason of trying to bring a male presence in Ray s life that she hires a male nanny , Chad , to help her when she is not plateful ...If you want to get a full essay, order it on o ur website: Or! derCustomPaper.com
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